choices choices choices

so it is 10:32 pm right now. cara, abby, cynthia, katie and i are in my living room of the apartment. cara is skyping her friend chad who she has a crush on sort of and blah blah.we watched borat and now we are watching spice world, anyway normal night normal night. boring ish. then at 9:56pm jonathan david finch texts me for the first time in weeeeeeks at least a few asking "how's my little princess doing?" and i freak. and i ask everyone what i should say and tell them and they all have the basic reaction of no just ignore it leave it alone. but of course i never listen to reason and i text him back. after the general consensus of noo ing me i have enough free will and brain of my own to text him back, but i am a bitch (that is the taint of my friends on my thoughts) and i say "well i don't know how your princess is, but i'm alright." or something of that general response. andddd it's bout been an hour and he never texted back. what what what. we facebook chatted and i thought he well it seemed as though he acknowledged me as a thinking being. meh. whatever. probably one of my delusions of grandeur! can i say i'm just mellow as can be at the moment. i am so happy i am bleeding out of my lady parts. my mood. maybe its just like a placebo to me, the fact it's finally started. that would be appropriate seeing as i'm a pillhead, that things are placebos to me. yes. anyway anyway anyway. i just want him to text me back. but if he doesn't. i'll live. " you've never really expressed such appreciation for my godhood as long as I was present. " that is something he said to me and i go and text him something bitchy. why if i ever wanted him back would i do that? its not like i am a fucked up housewife of an abusive husband making excuses for him being a dick. i am fully aware that quote is unreasonable. but i agree. and i want him to be god to me. if he would treat me like a fucking disciple i would treat him like god. but. he doesn't so why should i? i'm as close as the end of this blog to texting him again more or less begging him to text me back. something that begs for a response. something that will capture his attention and make him interested in me. something that will win him over? something something something that will change both of us into the perfect couple. yeah. right